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    • The Crap We Missed – 1.27.12
      “Appears to be sewn-in… Uh, clean-up, aisle frog.” Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Nick Nolte not giving a fuck so hard other people’s fucks are disintegrating before they themselves can be given, Vanessa Paradis trying to distract from her face in the worst way possible, Claire Danes getting banged by an Iron Read More ... […]
    • Tila Tequila Really Wants You To See Her Implants
      “Shalom,” they say. I’m going to be honest with you: I hate Tila Tequila, but at the same time, I love giant breasts including ones that still have that new dead inside smell. So here’s Tila rollerblading around Malibu this morning with what I’m assuming are brand new, if not repumped, implants, so at least Read More ... […]
    • Demi Moore Was Smoking ‘Something’ Now
      If you heard about Demi Moore doing whip-its and went, “Ha! Are we going to find out she was doing salvia next?” We’re finding out she was probably doing salvia next. People reports: Demi Moore was having convulsions and “burning up” at her Los Angeles home after she smoked an unknown substance, according to the Read More ... […]
    • Gerard Butler Has No Idea Who Brandi Glanville Is
      Earlier in the week, Brandi Glanville openly admitted to banging Gerard Butler because she’s on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and therefore by definition a gaping wang depository for wealthy men. And possibly even a lying wang despository at that considering this was Gerard’s response to TMZ when they asked him if he’s really an Read More ... […]
    • Adriana Lima Wore Another Bikini and Other News
      Posted by Photo Boy - Gronking > Tebowing. - Joe Rogan and Rosie O’Donnell are 9/11 conspiracy theorists now. - Pat Sajak and Vanna White used to do Wheel drunk on margaritas. - The 50 Most Ridiculous Mascots: I vote for the Penn State Silent Shower Head. - Leonardo Read More ... […]
    • Taylor Swift Wrote An Entire Album About Jake Gyllenhaal
      Taylor Swift has a history of writing songs about her exes (See: Mayer, John “Douchecanoe”), but she’s never written an entire concept album about one which is how I chose to read this Us Weekly article about Jake Gyllenhaal who dumped her for being “too young.” Haha! Gays. You say the darndest things. “She’s haunted Read More ... […]
    • Ian Somerhalder: Cat Detective
      “Prepare for a tummy rub, crime.” Before this post turns into a dreamily heroic yet comically misguided adventure of bleeding heart proportions, a little background from the Washington Post that you’re going to want to skip if at least 50% of your cubicle is kitten-themed: Jacob Burris, the campaign manager for Arkansas Democratic congressional candidate Rea […]
    • The Crap We Missed – Thursday 1.26.12
      Liam Neeson can have Islam, I’m converting to this religion. Whatever this one is. Melonology. Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed featuring the soon-to-raped wax statues of RPattz and T-Lau (Do they call him T-Lau? They should call him T-Lau.), HulkBama, the hottest 40-year-old painter of Khloe & Lamar banging pictures I’ve ever seen Read More ... […]
    • Ashton Kutcher Seems Really Concerned About Demi Moore
      With Demi Moore in the hospital for doing whip-its of all things, you’d just assume Ashton Kutcher might be a tad concerned for the woman he was married to before detonating their relationship with his wandering cock. Turns out he has not a fuck to give because TMZ has footage of him fist-pumping with a Read More ... […]
    • Lindsay Lohan Sued For That Time She Hit A Baby With Her Car
      “Bras? Where we’re going we don’t need bras…” I don’t make it an effort to cover the 800 lawsuits Lindsay Lohan‘s served with everyday mostly because she’s an over-entitled drug addict who doesn’t see the need to pay for goods or services, so they really should come as no surprise. But this one involves my Read More ... […]
    • Vanessa Hudgens Won’t Stop Wearing Bikinis
      Here’s Vanessa Hudgens in Hawaii yesterday where she did a little topless sunbathing if topless means you don’t see anything awesome even though we’ve all stared directly into her spread eagle vagina, so technically she owes us for the free gynecological exam. This isn’t socialist Canada, lady. (Teach the infidel a lesson, Liam.) Photos: Fame/FlynetRead More […]
    • Liam Neeson’s Converting To Islam
      “I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for a convert, I can tell you I don’t have faith. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me pretty handy in Read More ... […]
    • Kate Beckinsale Presents Her Cleavage To Ze Germans and Other News
      Posted by Photo Boy - Here’s a Latina(o)? midget’s Amy Winehouse tribute. You’re welcome. - Snoop Dogg gives Kris Humphries the greatest advice of his life. - Redheaded cleavage that is in no way hotter than Kate Beckinsale. - Tracy Morgan has more good works to do on this earth. Read More ... […]
    • Demi Moore Was Doing Whip-Its
      Apparently Demi Moore was knocking back whip-its the night she was hospitalized because she’s 18 and living in her parent’s basement while working a dead-end job at Arby’s. A fact I’ve secretly suspected for years now, but lacked the journalistic integrity to follow through on. Gotta start trusting my gut more. TMZ reports: Sources tell Read More ... […]
    • Rihanna’s Thug Life Tattoo or See Through Dress: A Superficial ‘Sophie’s Choice’
      Posted by Photo Boy Not unlike meetings in the Situation Room of the White House, we often find ourselves white-knuckled with anxiety over which stories to run. (They wear footie pajamas and drink hot chocolate from sippy cups, right?) Well, recently Rihanna not only went out and got herself a ‘Thug Life’ tattoo in pink Read More ... […]
    • The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 1.25.12
      You know you Lycan this. (That werewolf pun just happened and, no, I won’t apologize for it.) Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring David Duchovny thinking to himself, “I’m pretty sure I’ve ejaculated on a forehead exactly like this one.” Oprah minds the stepchildren, and self-made-lesbian Cynthia Nixon‘s brown takes a difficult turn. Read More […]
    • Unsupervised Britney Spears Looks Exactly How You Expect It To Look
      Apparently Britney Spears‘ dad is getting her ready to end this conservatorship because here she is in all her crazy-eyed glory while letting her children walk barefoot in downtown Los Angeles yesterday where hipsters ironically pee and puke after a night of $10 PBRs. Also, I have no idea why she’s holding piles of clothes, Read More ... […]
    • Joan Rivers Destroys Chelsea Handler
      Not physically mind you. She actually looks like this. On Monday morning, Chelsea Handler said the following when asked about a feud with Joan Rivers on Howard Stern. Via RadarOnline: “Joan Rivers? What the fuck do I care about Joan Rivers? I don’t think about her ever.” Jump to Tuesday morning, when Joan stopped by Read More ... […]
    • Brandi Glanville Banged Gerard Butler For A Week
      A while back it was rumored that Brandi Glanville hooked up with Gerard Butler which no one really believed because, yes, Gerard Butler loves vagina, he probably doesn’t have to troll for reality stars that got dumped by Eddie Cibrian for LeAnn Rimes. Turns out he’s that dedicated of a cocksman. Via E! News: On Read More ... […]
    • Olivia Wilde Is Your New Pregnancy Rumor
      “Excuse me for a second- ‘The fuck did you just say?” Apparently there’s a rumor going around that Olivia Wilde is pregnant, and this may come as a shock to you, but I’m not buying this one. Mostly because Reese Witherspoon is and everyone knows pregnancy is a zero-sum game. But science aside, if Olivia Read More ... […]

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